Espresso and Marriage (with a side of GOD’s will)

November 25, 2007

by Rocky Wing

Whenever I visit a new town, my caffeine radar engages. While driving around my eyes are seeking for possible places of escape with my bible, computer, song writing journal, and a book. With the popularity of the green mermaid, the number of coffee shops in any given area has increased tenfold. This is both advantageous and unfortunate.

Most places can be excluded from afar, like drive-thru shop or signs that misspell their product EXpresso, and the ones that need to be approached by foot. Typically, the more they have on their menu, the worse the coffee is, as if they’re trying to make up for a bad roast with sandwiches and sundaes. I luckily avoided one shop boasting the arrival of elephant ears on a multi-colored sign. Sometimes a name will give a small hint. Avoid places like cowboy coffee or Christian sounding names like “Holy Grounds”. Like most rules, this one has its exclusions. Perhaps the owner just wasn’t very good with names. For two years I didn’t go to a shop in my wife’s hometown because it was called “Jolts N Juice”. Nowadays, it’s the only place I go.
I’ve tried to set up a series of tests to assure my satisfaction with my choice but most of the time, you actually have to enter the place. Typically the moment I walk in, I know if it is going to be a good or bad experience. The music choice, barista, the roaster, presence or absence of demitasse cups. Then when you order, your suspicions are confirmed. Order a shot of espresso. Do they look at you funny asking a serious of ridiculous questions like: “Do you want milk with it, sugar, syrup, chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon? You mean you just want the espresso? What should i put it in? An eight ounce cup? This little sample cup?” and so on and so on.

I know it before I sit down, yet there is nothing that I can do. I am stuck sipping bad espresso, in an inspirational-less atmosphere, listening to new country. What was supposed to be an escape, a time of focus, has become torment, yet there is hope. I am here for a couple hours and then i will NEVER come back.
A good friend is getting married today. I think a lot of people view marriage like I do coffee shops. If you get into it and then realize that it isn’t what you wanted at all, you just make a quick escape, run around the corner, and find someplace better. People will even tell you that you can’t really know someone until you get married. Others will say that people change over the years–the person you marry today will be different in five, ten years. And how much does a twenty minute personality test really tell you about your compatibility?

So then what are we left with? Blind chance, a crap shoot, trying your best to read the signs, peer into the window, smell the roast? In a sense this is true as it applies to discovering GOD’s will for your life. Wisdom, council, and scripture should all be used to weigh every possible option. But then there is the leap. I think about all those couples throughout the ages who were arranged to be married. How did that work? Probably much of the same way that couples beat the daunting odds and that remain together for their whole lives (as most vows state); commitment mixed with an understanding that no person is perfect and happiness will not be found on the other side of a divorce.

In a completely, off the analogy but on the subject insert, all this thinking came about because I asked my friend about the best coffee shop in Yakima. He told me and I’ve been sitting at a table, sipping espresso, writing much of this note on my laptop (although the battery died mid-sentence and there was only one outlet in the whole place, and that was monopolized by a man who kept talking to himself). My friend’s recommendation saved my afternoon.

Why can’t GOD be so direct with us? Or is it me who is not listening?

Posted in Pastor Rocky Wing